


An Unexpected Memory

by ALMartin1011



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Feels, F/M, Fluff and Feels, Gen, Tumblr Prompt, but i'm a dumb american so keep that in mind, but it's sweet not too sad, figgy pudding is disgusting, i've tried it trust me, interestedbystander12 days collection, let's just call it bittersweet, okay maybe it's a little sad, so many feels, surprise memory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALMartin1011/pseuds/ALMartin1011
Summary: You are planning Christmas dinner for the Avengers and trying to help Bucky remember his own holiday memories in the process. Bucky thinks he's on to something but the memory ends up not being quite what he expected.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	An Unexpected Memory

**Author's Note:**

> So this written for the amazing interestedbystanderwrites‘s 12 Days of Christmas Drabbles on Tumblr. I am a terrible drabbler so this ended up WAY more than 500 words but hey, ya girl tried. My prompt was for today, December 16th: "You are in charge of planning Christmas dinner. Create a menu for your perfect Christmas meal." This immediately made me think of family meals spent together on the holiday and how Bucky probably not even know where to start with that LOL. I hope ya’ll have as much fun this little fic as I had writing! XOXO - Ash

“We can host this year, Pepper. Don’t worry about it.” You repeat for the third time in five minutes. 

Bucky rolls his eyes from his spot on the sofa, watching you pace around the living room as you talk on the phone. It’s an oddly charming 21st century habit and it both amuses and irritates the former assassin who is just trying to get through the latest episode of “How’s It’s Made” undisturbed. 

Bucky’s ears perk up when he realizes the tide has turned and you are winning whatever you’re trying to convince Pepper Potts-Stark to do. 

“I know… Okay…. Really it’s….. Oh, great! We’ll see you in two weeks.” you say and then set your phone on the side table. 

You hop around doing a little victory dance before flopping down on the sofa. “We’re hosting Christmas Dinner for the Avengers this year.” you tell him with a grin.

Bucky’s eyes widen for a moment before he stifles down the anxiety that flares up over having an apartment full of people. “Did we want to?” he asks trying for casual but still sounding hesitant.

You give him a half shrug, “Someone has to. The roofers won’t be done at Pepper’s until after New Years at this rate. She can’t host dinner for the team when she’s missing a hunk out of her ceiling.” 

Bucky laughs, “I still can’t believe Morgan got her hands on an old repulsor. Let alone figured out how to get it to work. She’s Tony’s kid through and through.” 

“Poor Pep. She’s really got her hands full. You don’t mind that I volunteered us to host, do you?”

“Nah, it’ll be nice to have everyone over again. It’s been over a year since the housewarming party.” 

“Mhmm. I haven’t see Wanda in ages either. It’ll be good.” 

Bucky plants a kiss on your head and goes back to his show so you snuggle in against the human space heater that is your boyfriend and bring up menu suggestions on Pinterest. 

xxXxx

“So what do you think?” you ask after rattling off an extensive list of foods for Christmas dinner. 

Bucky looks up, slightly bewildered, cheeks chipmunking out from the sandwich he’s currently inhaling. Ever polite, he swallows his mouthful and wipes his lips with his napkin before speaking. “It’s all fine, baby girl. Whatever you wanna do.” 

You shake your head, wanting him to be more involved. “Come on, give me something here.” you insist, “What did your ma make for Christmas when you were a kid?”

Bucky pauses and puts down his sandwich. You can all but hear his mind churning as he tries to locate those specific memories through the smoke and fog. HYDRA had done their best to wipe out his long term memories but after years of therapy and a little (okay a lot) of help from Shuri and her team, he had a good amount back. He still got flashes of memories now and then when something triggered them and what came up typically stuck. 

“I… I don’t know. I’m sorry.” he sounds defeated and you reach out to take his hand, covering it lightly with yours.

“Don’t apologize. I can try and find a typical 1930s or 40s menu online and see if any of it jogs your memory. Or, we can just make more modern stuff and make our own memories. It’s all up to you.” 

“I could try looking a list if you can find one.” 

You whip out your phone quickly and start typing away at a Google search. Bucky is picking at the edge bits of his sandwich, destroying it instead of eating it at this point, and you feel guilty to have soured his lunch. After a few clicks you find a menu on a homemaking blog that focuses on depression era clothes, recipes, and lifestyle tips. “I found a list.” you tell him and he nods, waiting for you to start, “Okay, how about sweet potato casserole?” you show him the picture and he shakes his head, “Olives?” he shakes his head again, “Buttered squash?” he wrinkles his nose and shakes his head yet again, “Plum pudding?” this picture he lingers staring at. Bucky tilts his head a little to the right and he stares at the image, the crinkley lines at the sides of his eyes deepening as he squints a little. “This is familiar?” you ask hopefully. It’s disgusting looking but you will make a thousand of them if it will help him remember more about his past.

Bucky nods slowly, “I think so. It feels familiar but I can’t quite remember it.” 

“It’s worth a try. And if it doesn’t jog your memory at least we’ll have another dessert for the table.” 

Bucky makes a humming sound of agreement and goes back to his sandwich with a thoughtful expression still on his face. 

xxXxx

It was after ten o’clock on Christmas Eve and you are still in the kitchen preparing things for the next day. Bucky has floated through the kitchen a few times since getting home; just to pull you close and give you a kiss, making sure you don’t need any help. He’s sweet but you don’t trust him to boil water, let alone prep a holiday dinner. You pull the plum pudding out of the oven and set it down on a trivet to cool on the counter top. The apartment quickly fills with the scent of dark, sweet cinnamon and Bucky’s head pops out of the office almost immediately. “What’s that smell?” he asks taking a long sniff.

You try not to get overly hopeful, “The plum pudding just came out of the oven.”

Bucky comes out and stares at the slightly odd looking dessert. It would be funny if it wasn’t for how serious his expression is. He pokes at it gently and takes a larger breath right in the steam that’s floating up from it like ghosts of Christmas past. You pull a fork out of the silverware drawer and hand it to him silently. You have to drizzle icing over it anyway so if he takes a bite now no one will be the wiser. Bucky takes a small chunk out from the edge, blowing on it before popping it into his mouth. He chews once and his eyes close, his forehead smoothing out and his breathing hitching for a moment. His eyes stay closed as he finishes the bite and swallows; his voice low and thick when he finally speaks. “I remember this now. It wasn’t my ma, it was Steve’s. Every year Sarah would scrape together enough change to make this one tiny little cake, and Steve would insist on sharing his half with me. I never had the heart to tell him I hated raisins.” When he opens his eyes they’re filled with unshed tears and you pull him in close by the waist so you can hug him tightly while he processes the memory that surfaced. 

Bucky clings to you while he takes a moment to steady himself. “Thank you for this.” he says quietly into your hair. 

It’s not the memory he was trying to find but it’s a memory nonetheless. Steve is coming to dinner tomorrow and Bucky can’t wait to see the older man’s face when he tastes the dessert. Every holiday he can’t help but worry about how many more Steve has left. This is something they can share though, another memory from their past; when they were young and life was simpler. 

“So,” you say, breaking him from his reverie, “Should we keep plum pudding on the Christmas menu from now on?” 

Bucky kisses the top of your head before pulling back to look you in the eye. “Absolutely not. I’m not afraid to tell you I hate raisins.” 

~~The End~~


End file.
